Sunday, July 22, 2012

It's Not About You.


That's what a foster mom kindly, but directly, said to me as I gave her the reasons why my husband and I could never foster.

"I could never give them back. We'd get too attached."  I compassionately proclaimed to her.

And all she said was, "It's not about you."

And there you have it.

I didn't take offense to her comment. Because she was right.

There are hundreds of innocent children in our city alone that do not get to make the decisions where they will live.  They have been pulled from their families for safety reasons, but they don't get an opinion as to where to go next.  They have no voice.

But I do.  And I use it a lot.

Unfortunately, it's too often for my own self-promotion.

What if instead of giving excuses as to why foster care isn't for our family, I started advocating for the child who doesn't have a family?

The bible is clear in it's mandate: To be a voice for the orphan.

Foster children are orphans. Whether for a few days, months, or years, they are without their biological family.


There are some great ways to care us to for them. 

1.  Through Foster Care, where children are placed with your family for the short or long term until their family is stable enough to get them back or until they are available to be adopted. 

2. Through Respite Care, where you receive the foster care training and then take children into your home for short periods of time.  (i.e. overnight, the weekend, or a week)  Alabama DHR confirmed they are in great need of Respite Care families as well as foster families.

3. Adopt from the foster care system.  There are over 300 children currently available for adoption in foster care in the state of Alabama. 


Children placed in foster care may not have a voice.  But we do.  

Even greater, we have the ability to give them the structure and love that they desperately need.

Foster care is not a walk in the park.  It can be messy and hard.

But it is also part of the adventure that God calls us to as believers- to care for the orphan.


You may not know yet if this is for your family- but we encourage you to join us and learn more at our ONEfamily Foster Care Q&A on August 1st at 6pm in Room 7207 at Frazer UMC. 

Frazer Foster families will be sharing their experiences and insight about the fostering process.  

If you already know that you are interested in Foster or Respite Care, the next ten-week training course begins September 6th at Frazer.  Please email Leslie at onefamily@frazerumc.org. 


*This is a repost from a July 2011 blog entry at Waiting on a Word.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Learning More.

On any given day, there are approximately 420,000 in foster care across the United States.  


They range in age from newborn to kids in their late teens. 


1,200 enter foster care each day and average about two years in the foster care system. 


These children are placed in foster homes or group homes. 


No matter their age, they don't get to decide where they are placed. 


They have no control and no voice. 


Almost half a million children in foster care. 


Half a million children who have been through trauma and distress that need care and love and stability. 




They need a bed.  


A stable environment. 


A hug. 


A toothbrush. 


Someone to tuck them in at night. 




Children in foster care deserve a chance.  They deserve to be placed in a home where they feel safe and love abounds. 


So I have to ask the question.  


What about YOUR home? 


Could YOU be a family that provides a refuge for children who need safe place to land? 


There is a huge need for full-time foster families AND for respite care families. 


Respite families provide short-term care. They take in children for the a night or two when they first come into care.  They take in foster children for a few days, weekend, or week when their regular foster family needs someone to care for them due to illness, going out of state, or family emergency. 


Both full-time foster care and respite care families take the same amount of training in Alabama.  


BOTH are desperately needed in our state. 


So I have to ask the question.


What about YOUR home? 


Could YOU be a family that provides a refuge, either for a few days or a few years, for children who need a safe place to land? 


If you are interested in learning more about the foster care process, please join us on August 1st at 6pm for a Foster Care Q&A panel.  Foster families from our church will be answering questions about foster and respite care.  The panel will be held at Frazer UMC in Room 7207.  


We would LOVE for you to join us for this informative night. 


Learn more.  Ask questions.  Pray about your role. 


Hope to see you then. 




Monday, May 14, 2012

ONEfamily Updates

ONEfamily is excited to have celebrated the one year anniversary of the ministry! 

Please view the video below to hear from some Frazer families that are involved in orphan care! 






If you are interested in learning more about what the bible says about orphan care, please join us for a six-week summer bible study starting June 6th.  We will be going through the book Orphanology by Rick Morton and Tony Merida. 


If you are interested in this class or would like more information about it, please email us at onefamily@frazerumc.org.


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

An Evening with Sam McClure of the Adoption Law Firm

ONEfamily is hosting an evening with Sam McClure, adoption attorney with the Adoption Law Firm.  Please join us for an informal gathering on Wednesday, March 14th, from 6-7pm.  

Sam and his wife, Mary Beth will be sharing their story of internationally adopting their son Robi from Hungary.  In addition, Sam will be able to answer questions about domestic and international adoption, re-adoption, private adoption, and many other facets of the process.  You can read more about his law firm here. 

This is an event for everyone - it's an opportunity to meet one of Montgomery's strongest advocates for the orphan.  We are excited to introduce Sam and Mary Beth to our Frazer family! 

The Details: 
Where: The Parlor in Frazer 
When: March 14th
What time: 6-7pm
Who: Anyone interested in learning more about adoption

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Say Yes

Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's, was a huge advocate for adoption.  Being an adoptee himself, he knew the value of a forever family for a child.  

This short video was produced by the Dave Thomas Foundation and is a sweet picture of why EVERY single child deserves and needs a family.  




Thursday, November 17, 2011

Adopting Eden and Den


For Rose and I, adoption began as a way to have more children when we couldn’t. It turned out to be much more than that. When we began the adoption process we already had two natural children. Alyson, our daughter, was 11 and our son Brantley was 8. They were two beautiful vibrant children and the four of us had been leading a very happy normal family life. When we had become pregnant again a couple of years earlier, we thought it was routine. When we lost the baby with a miscarriage, the routine was gone and the anguish set in. I watched Rose for several months as she mourned our loss. As I watched her pain, I felt totally helpless as a husband. We pursued international adoption not only to provide a home to a baby but to help fill a void in our hearts.

We were matched by the adoption agency to a baby boy in Ryazan, Russia who was born just a couple of months before we began the adoption paperwork. In fact, he was born about the same time that we had been told that our chances of having a third child naturally were futile. After months of background checks, home studies by social workers, visa applications, etc., we traveled to Russia to meet the baby in the summer of 2002. The conditions in the orphanage were subpar to say the least. There were very caring workers who were doing the best they could with the minimal supplies and food that they had available. The numbers of beautiful children were staggering. There was dozens of children needing a home and nobody even came to visit except on rare occasion. I remember thinking of these children and what their futures would be. If they survived the poor medical care and childhood diseases to age 16, they were turned out into the streets to fight for their survival on their own. Organized crime would be waiting to save them for their own profitable agenda. They would be the next generation of gangsters and prostitutes.

When we met “Ruslan” for the first time, our hearts melted right into his. I will never forget the first time I held him. We were standing next to a window and he looked outside and waved into the sky! At eight months old, how could he have known that he wanted to leave the only place he knew? Or was he calling our attention to more?

After we filed the local court documents to adopt “ Denton Thomas Pendleton”, we returned home to await the court date. At this point in the process, we kept our emotions in check as we stayed  busy preparing our home for a new baby. Our emotions went into another gear when Rose called me at work and shared a dream she had just had! She dreamt of an infant boy with blonde hair and wearing wings that was floating in midair. The angel, waving upwardly, repeated over and over….” He sent a soul to Heaven, to save a child in need!” Now, the tears began to flow on both ends of the phone line like never before. There was no doubt. God was answering our prayers. We had prayed for a third child. But, God wanted us to have a child on His terms. Rose’s dream made our hearts instantly begin to yearn for our new son.

A month later, we returned to Russia and formally adopted Den. I remember telling the judge, through interpretation, that I would like to bring our son back to his hometown to know his beginnings when he was older. The judge replied to me, “I hope you will return and adopt a little girl”! Ironically, adoptions in the Ryazan region were closed soon after Den’s adoption. Den was one of two babies adopted that day. He was one of the last….

We journeyed home to Montgomery in a trip that took about 24 hours. As our plane touched down in New York, a new American law for internationally adopted children made Den officially an American citizen. The flight from Moscow to JFK had about 20 such children on board. The applause that was heard inside that plane as those wheels touched was emotional as well. We continued home and were greeted by family and friends at Dannelly Field. We were all so proud of our new son.

Looking back on the entire experience, I began to realize that what started out as an endeavor to adopt a third child to fill a vacancy in our hearts turned out to be a lesson in God’s will. God wanted us to know that what we see as bad things do happen. They happen for a reason and the reason is not always for us to understand. We are to trust Him and He will provide for us what He wants us to have… in His own time and means. I realized how much closer this event in our lives brought us to Him. It then occurred to me that Den was not the only one saved and adopted in this story. Our Father saved us all in His own adoption story. “ He sent a soul to Heaven, to save a child in need”. Jesus is our Savior….and the child, it’s each and every one of us!

Four years later, in 2006, we did return to Russia to adopt a girl just as the judge in Den’s adoption had suggested. We felt like we would be more prepared for the process as we had been through the process before. We were wrong. We went to meet a baby girl named “Maria” just as all the local adoption agencies in Russia had their accreditation revoked. We proceeded by granting an adoption “coordinator” in Moscow a power of attorney. On our first trip to visit the orphanage in Ivanovo, Russia, it became apparent that the political climate towards international adoptions had changed. We searched and found loopholes to file the adoption petition. We then returned to the states and waited. As the court date was finally set and approached, we were asked for more and more “busy work” documentation from the Russian government. There was obviously a force working against us. We returned to Ivanovo and endured more requests for information that was impossible to give. They asked us questions that there were no answers to! As we walked into court that day, we were given odds of 50% of our adoption being fulfilled.

It was another emotional moment in court when, through all the Russian being spoken that we could not understand, we heard the words “Eden Marie Pendleton” being said by the judge. This was the name we had chosen for Maria and we would not have heard it if she wasn’t ours!


About a week later, we began our final journey home with Eden at the Moscow airport. As I was checking our bags, I looked over at a young man checking his bags a few feet away. He was wearing a Montgomery Biscuits T-shirt….halfway around the world! It just turned out that he was from Montgomery and a member of Frazer who was with a mission group returning home on the same flight. Another lesson…just when you think you are alone you aren’t! There are angels all around us.