Thursday, November 17, 2011

Adopting Eden and Den


For Rose and I, adoption began as a way to have more children when we couldn’t. It turned out to be much more than that. When we began the adoption process we already had two natural children. Alyson, our daughter, was 11 and our son Brantley was 8. They were two beautiful vibrant children and the four of us had been leading a very happy normal family life. When we had become pregnant again a couple of years earlier, we thought it was routine. When we lost the baby with a miscarriage, the routine was gone and the anguish set in. I watched Rose for several months as she mourned our loss. As I watched her pain, I felt totally helpless as a husband. We pursued international adoption not only to provide a home to a baby but to help fill a void in our hearts.

We were matched by the adoption agency to a baby boy in Ryazan, Russia who was born just a couple of months before we began the adoption paperwork. In fact, he was born about the same time that we had been told that our chances of having a third child naturally were futile. After months of background checks, home studies by social workers, visa applications, etc., we traveled to Russia to meet the baby in the summer of 2002. The conditions in the orphanage were subpar to say the least. There were very caring workers who were doing the best they could with the minimal supplies and food that they had available. The numbers of beautiful children were staggering. There was dozens of children needing a home and nobody even came to visit except on rare occasion. I remember thinking of these children and what their futures would be. If they survived the poor medical care and childhood diseases to age 16, they were turned out into the streets to fight for their survival on their own. Organized crime would be waiting to save them for their own profitable agenda. They would be the next generation of gangsters and prostitutes.

When we met “Ruslan” for the first time, our hearts melted right into his. I will never forget the first time I held him. We were standing next to a window and he looked outside and waved into the sky! At eight months old, how could he have known that he wanted to leave the only place he knew? Or was he calling our attention to more?

After we filed the local court documents to adopt “ Denton Thomas Pendleton”, we returned home to await the court date. At this point in the process, we kept our emotions in check as we stayed  busy preparing our home for a new baby. Our emotions went into another gear when Rose called me at work and shared a dream she had just had! She dreamt of an infant boy with blonde hair and wearing wings that was floating in midair. The angel, waving upwardly, repeated over and over….” He sent a soul to Heaven, to save a child in need!” Now, the tears began to flow on both ends of the phone line like never before. There was no doubt. God was answering our prayers. We had prayed for a third child. But, God wanted us to have a child on His terms. Rose’s dream made our hearts instantly begin to yearn for our new son.

A month later, we returned to Russia and formally adopted Den. I remember telling the judge, through interpretation, that I would like to bring our son back to his hometown to know his beginnings when he was older. The judge replied to me, “I hope you will return and adopt a little girl”! Ironically, adoptions in the Ryazan region were closed soon after Den’s adoption. Den was one of two babies adopted that day. He was one of the last….

We journeyed home to Montgomery in a trip that took about 24 hours. As our plane touched down in New York, a new American law for internationally adopted children made Den officially an American citizen. The flight from Moscow to JFK had about 20 such children on board. The applause that was heard inside that plane as those wheels touched was emotional as well. We continued home and were greeted by family and friends at Dannelly Field. We were all so proud of our new son.

Looking back on the entire experience, I began to realize that what started out as an endeavor to adopt a third child to fill a vacancy in our hearts turned out to be a lesson in God’s will. God wanted us to know that what we see as bad things do happen. They happen for a reason and the reason is not always for us to understand. We are to trust Him and He will provide for us what He wants us to have… in His own time and means. I realized how much closer this event in our lives brought us to Him. It then occurred to me that Den was not the only one saved and adopted in this story. Our Father saved us all in His own adoption story. “ He sent a soul to Heaven, to save a child in need”. Jesus is our Savior….and the child, it’s each and every one of us!

Four years later, in 2006, we did return to Russia to adopt a girl just as the judge in Den’s adoption had suggested. We felt like we would be more prepared for the process as we had been through the process before. We were wrong. We went to meet a baby girl named “Maria” just as all the local adoption agencies in Russia had their accreditation revoked. We proceeded by granting an adoption “coordinator” in Moscow a power of attorney. On our first trip to visit the orphanage in Ivanovo, Russia, it became apparent that the political climate towards international adoptions had changed. We searched and found loopholes to file the adoption petition. We then returned to the states and waited. As the court date was finally set and approached, we were asked for more and more “busy work” documentation from the Russian government. There was obviously a force working against us. We returned to Ivanovo and endured more requests for information that was impossible to give. They asked us questions that there were no answers to! As we walked into court that day, we were given odds of 50% of our adoption being fulfilled.

It was another emotional moment in court when, through all the Russian being spoken that we could not understand, we heard the words “Eden Marie Pendleton” being said by the judge. This was the name we had chosen for Maria and we would not have heard it if she wasn’t ours!


About a week later, we began our final journey home with Eden at the Moscow airport. As I was checking our bags, I looked over at a young man checking his bags a few feet away. He was wearing a Montgomery Biscuits T-shirt….halfway around the world! It just turned out that he was from Montgomery and a member of Frazer who was with a mission group returning home on the same flight. Another lesson…just when you think you are alone you aren’t! There are angels all around us.




Monday, November 7, 2011

Gotcha Forever!


It had been a day two years in the making but the day had finally arrived. There we were sitting at a civil affairs office in Nanjing, China, thousands of miles away from our home in Montgomery, Alabama waiting to meet our 17 month old son, Sam. 


Nervously waiting to meet our son in Nanjing, China

The moment was surreal. All the paperwork, all the fund raising events, all the months of praying, waiting, and worrying was behind us. All we had was four pictures of him, medical records translated from Chinese to English, a black and white copy of a sonogram of his heart which had been surgically repaired to patch a hole between his left and right ventricles. What would he think of us? What would we think of him? What kind of personality would he have? Would he be healthy? A thousand unanswered questions would soon be answered.

A van pulled up and three nannies got out, each of them holding a baby. We watched as they walked into the civil affairs office. He was the first to come into the room. His nanny was holding him and announced his name “Zhang, Jin Hao”. There he was! Our son!





Seeing our son for the first time in person!


Can this really be happening? The Nanny quickly made her way over to us and handed him to Nick. Sam was confused, frightened, and boy did he cry! He had the loudest cry of all the children in the room. He wanted to go back to his Nanny. He was crying and reaching for her. Believe it or not, this was good to see because it meant he was attached to his caregivers and with time he would attach to us. His world was changing. He was leaving everything he had ever known.  Our hearts broke for him. We cried along with him and tried our best to comfort him, assuring him that he was going to be okay.  He was only 17 months but he had been through so much in his short life. He was a fighter and God had plans for his life. After several hours of signing papers we finally got to leave the civil affairs office. He collapsed in my arms from exhaustion. I just held him, sang to him, and ran my fingers through his black hair. Sam quickly grew to trust us, smiling more each day, laughing and learning to walk. He was a loving child. He was everything we had prayed for. God was with us each step. Giving us all that we needed to be Sam’s parents.




Gotcha forever!


That was four years ago November 26, 2007. Sam is now is five years old. He attends school, loves super heroes, plays soccer, basketball, he enjoys watching football with his Dad, and playing with his friends. He is a mama’s boy! He is a very lovable and social (he loves to talk which gets him in some trouble at school). He loves Jesus and he can say the best prayers I have ever heard.  God answers prayers! Sam is praying for a brother or sister. God put it on our heart to open our home to foster children in our community. We are excited about the possibilities of what God has planned for us to add to our family. Looking for a blessing? Open your heart to children who need love and a home. God will bless you beyond what you can ever imagine. 



Sam now, climbing trees and having fun in the backyard

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

November Happenings

November 6th is officially "Orphan Sunday" across the world. 


It's been designated as a day to bring to light the needs of orphans everywhere. 


At Frazer, we'll be using the month of November as an opportunity to increase awareness about the orphan crisis, both locally and internationally. 


*Please visit the ONEfamily table in the atrium each Sunday this month.  We'll have resources for you and opportunities available to plug in to orphan care. 


*In addition, we'll be spotlighting some families on the blog this month that are caring for the orphan; through adoption, foster care, or orphan care. 


*During the month of November, please look for the Project Angel Tree table in the Atrium.  This year, there will be an opportunity to provide Christmas gifts for over 400 children currently in DHR foster care.  By sponsoring a child, you are providing them with hope and joy for this Christmas season.    


*The Foster  Care Training Class is finishing up it's last few weeks of training this month.  By mid-November, there will be 13 more families certified to care for foster children in our county! 


*A BIG thank you to all of the Sunday School classes, families, and bible studies that provided dinner for us each week! Such a blessing to us! 


*If you are interested in taking the next Foster Care training class, please contact us at onefamily@frazerumc.org for more information. 


*Waiting on a Word blog is raffling off a brand new video camera and all proceeds are donated to caring for the orphan. Half will go toward helping the Word family bring an orphan into their home. The other half will go toward a Kaye and Toni, a Frazer mother and daughter who are going TO the orphan and caring for them in Ethiopia this summer.  Head over here for more information about the raffle. 


Check back soon to meet some of the Frazer families who are caring for the orphan! 

Upcoming Events this Winter:
*Ice Cream Social -- an afternoon for families to connect that have adopted or fostered or are interested in learning more about the process and meeting families who have been through it.

*Adoption Seminar with Sam McClure of the Adoption Law Firm- This firm is newly opened  and located in Montgomery.  Learn more about the ins and outs of adoption from Sam, an adoptive father himself and lawyer who specializes in adoption.

*Seminar with an Alabama adoption agency to learn more about their available international programs.

Stay Tuned for more information on them!